THE TRUTH THEY DON'T WANT YOU TO KNOW
!! ALIEN PORTAL DISCOVERED !!
In the Abandoned Oakville Taco Bell Freezer
I have discovered an ALIEN PORTAL in the abandoned Taco Bell freezer in downtown Oakville. It exists in a timeLOCKED state, trapped in its own liminal space purgatory!
The doctors say I don't have much time left, but I've CRACKED THE CODE - I've befriended the small teal entities trapped inside and learned to communicate with them in their own language.
THE PORTAL: Picture taken with my disposable camera. Sorry for the quality, they interfere with digital equipment!
EXACT LOCATION:
(Downtown Oakville - Behind the dumpsters at the abandoned TACO BELL)
THE OUTSIDE: This is is the secret way inside!
They don't want you to know this, but the portal only opens on the third Tuesday of each month when the temperature drops below 32°F. The beings inside have revealed secrets about our universe that will BLOW YOUR MIND.
What I've Learned From The Teal Beings:
- They've been trapped since the Taco Bell closed in 1997
- Their dimension exists perpendicular to ours through quantum entanglement
- They need our help to return home - BUT THE GOVERNMENT WON'T LISTEN!
- They've taught me their language which sounds like bell ringing and tastes like cinnamon
- They warned me about the coming CONVERGENCE in 2076!!!
PROOF I'M NOT CRAZY:
Listen, I know how this sounds. I was skeptical too until I saw it with my own eyes. I've included a sample of their language below:
///--○○●●--\\\
○●○●○●○●○●○●○
\\\--●●○○--///
This roughly translates to: "The stars align in patterns unseen by human eyes. The Bell has rung."
I set up this website to ensure this knowledge outlasts me. I've followed the principles of long-term web preservation to make sure future generations can find the truth:
- Basic HTML for maximum browser compatibility
- Simple CSS that will work decades from now
- Multiple DNS records across different providers
- Static hosting for minimal maintenance
- No JavaScript dependencies that could break
Last updated: 05/05/2025 - This site will remain up as long as the internet exists